Events

• Wednesday is “I can give you a sentence” day where punsters reign supreme. Last week’s winner was Parker who transformed “horticulture” into “You can lead a whore to culture but you can’t make her think.” Dorothy must be the exception that proves the rule.


• On April 1st we’ll be inducting Hamlet the hotel cat into our celebrated circle as he’s clearly one of us. Razor-sharp claws, a biting wit (well, he’s mastered the biting part), laziness surpassing even ours, and a willingness to be fed by our gracious host Frank Case in return for looking adorable and bringing in business.


• Brevity is the soul of wit. Our esteemed leader Mr. Woolcott this week devastated the Schubert production “Wham!” with his one-word review “Ouch!” Poker games every Saturday night here at the Algonquin. Mr. Case reminds us once again that we may not make good our losses by offering to strip.


• Thanks to Harpo Marx who removed a party of boaters from our private island last week by running at them stark naked while wielding an ax. If it happens again, Barrymore has offered to fix them with a steely eye and declaim the entire Rime of the Ancient Mariner while holding their arms in a vise-like grip. He will add verisimilitude by wearing a dead seagull around his neck.


• Our very own stage production “No Sirree! An Anonymous Entertainment by the Vicious Circle” will be performed at the 49th Street Theatre on Sunday, April 30. The diminutive dainties Talulah Bankhead and Helen Hayes will open the proceedings by dancing around our Robert Sherwood who stands at six feet eight. And that’s the long and the short of it. Be sure to invite your friends and encourage them to roll in the aisles. The reviewers sent by the New York Times will be refuse to smile on principle